So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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