Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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