pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Randomize
