Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize