Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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