I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
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