Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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