Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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