Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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