You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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