More tranny stories later!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
