fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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