I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
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