I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
