I am in a vortex of obligation.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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