I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
Randomize