I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
They have beer where we have blood.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
