I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
