why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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