I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
