rhymes with "ouble enetration"
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
