I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
