i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Randomize
