You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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