I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
