so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
