Swine flu. Run for my life!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize