I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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