Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Randomize
