so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
