I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Randomize
