Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
