ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
