See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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