dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
