Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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