Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
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