I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
