Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we made out on top of his cat.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Randomize
