I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize