I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
