At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize