Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Randomize
