I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Randomize
