It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
