Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Randomize
