I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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