Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
