this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
