there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
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