i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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