handjob tips. give me some.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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