While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize