She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Randomize
