It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
