he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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