He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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