Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
